You say?

Al-Qaeda in Iraq?

The setting, an opulent palace, with marble floors and gilded walls, some where north of Baghdad. Uniformed guards, armed with automatic weapons, patrol the high walls, topped with razor wire, surrounding the compound. Saddam Hussein, dressed in a business suit, sits behind a massive oak desk once owned by the king of France. On the desk in front of him a box of the finest Cuban cigars, a decanter of vintage wine and the latest issue of Hustler magazine. Gifts from his sons Uday and Qusay. Saddam is busy going over a hit list of dissident citizens, enemies and people with annoying habits. The weekly report of his personal profits from the illegal export of oil awaits his attention.

His personal secretary, who's natural attractiveness has been enhanced by medical intervention, interrupters his reverie.

"Your Surpremness, a mister Bin Ladin would like a word with you."

"I'll take it on the speaker. Salom."

"Hussein, my old friend, may Allah bless you and your family. Praise Allah. Lets us give thanks to.."

"What do want Osama?"

"I need money, millions of dollars. And weapons, machine guns, bombs, rockets, even nukes. And land, thousands of acres of land. And safe haven within your country."

"What, you gonna start your own private army?"

"Yes, exactly! We will kill the infidels. Rid the earth of Satan's servants."

"You're going after the Americans, great!"

"Yes Hussein. We will start with the Americans, but we will not stop there. We punish with death all of those who dishonor the beliefs of Islam. The evil dogs who have abandoned our noble traditions. All those who no longer wear white rodes and turbans. Those who dare to look on the naked bodies of women. Those who defile their bodies with tobacco and alcohol. These who exploit the natural resources of the middle east for their own personal profit. Those who live in extravagant luxury while our people suffer. And especially those who harm fellow Muslims. We will kill them all."

"So Bin Laden, if I give you everything you want you will take orders from me and attack only those who I tell you to."

"No my good friend. I will take orders only from Allah!"

"Ahh, eh, okay Osama. I'll have to go over the numbers and see what I can do for you. It's been a rough year and all. I'll get back to you."

"Praise, Allah." Click.

Taking a solid gold pen from the jewel encrusted holder on his desk, Saddam Hussein quickly adds the name Bin Laden to the list.

OWL

March 2, 2008