freeland

One of the real problems with conventional government is the attachment to geography. A government controls those people who live within what it defines as its borders. And has little or no influence over those who live elsewhere. A lot of people do not like the government in their part of the world and would really like to be pay taxes and obey laws under a different social-political arrangement.

Introducing FREELAND! The world first and only "government at large". Without being restricted by imaginary lines drawn on a map the Freelandian government is free to rule over anyone who wishes to be governed by this new and progressive form of democracy. And only those who wish to participate.

This immediately solves the problems of insurgency, revolutionaries, malcontents, rabble-rousers and sore losers. There won't be any in Freeland. You don't like whats going on in Freeland then "POOF" you are not a citizen. End of annoyance.

Contrary-wise if you want to be a part of the most exciting development in self rule since the first democracy was formed in about five hundred BC by the Greeks then you are free to join. If you want government run by the people instead of by the blood sucking politicians controlled by purse strings here it is. There would be many of advantages system over the way other administrations do business.

Among them 24/7 in home police protection, every citizen of Freeland deputized, carrying a night stick , pepper spray, hand cuff, taeser, service revolver and coupon for free donuts and coffee. As the Freeland ambassador to the what ever country you happen to be in, you cannot not be prosecuted for a minor offence no matter where you are, and while on sovereign Freeandian territory, such as in your home the local authorities will not be able to come in arrest you for major crimes.

All laws, rules, and regulations taxes in Freeland could be enacted only by general election with every citizen given the opportunity to vote. The civil and penal codes of Freeland will be the rule of law wherever a citizen happens to be. These laws will be kept to a minimum.

The tax code of Freeland is very simple and tax evasion is unheard of.  Every citizen pays $100 per year of Citizenship Tax.  That's it.  That's all there is.  And if you don't pay then your citizenship is revoke. Period. No lengthy court case. No fines. You just no longer have citizenship privileges. Saves the tax bureau a lot of time and money.

"Great", you say, "how do I become a citizen."  Easy just send me $100 by credit card, cash or cashers check.  American money only!

OWL

April, 9 2012

this is a test of the emergency broadcast network

testing vvvm nnnnnzzzzz


OWL

thats not cricket

Beetle lived under a large paving stone beside the path up to the big house. One corner of the stone was broken and the top was slightly uneven so it had been discarded when the house was built. Still it provided a leak proof roof and allowed Beetle ample space for a living room, kitchen, bedroom and the three storage rooms for which Beetle was famous. They were stocked floor to ceiling with seeds, nuts, bread crumbs, potato peelings, apple cores and other more exotic food stuffs. Beetle prided himself on his industry and hard work. Everyday he woke at 4:00 am and went about gathering, preserving, and storing until late in the evening. Beetle was determined to be well prepared for winter which was right around the corner.


Cricket lived under a sycamore leaf. The leaf had a hole near the middle and a crack on one edge. Cricket's Place, as it was widely known, was drafty and damp. But still it was a popular hang out. Cricket was a musician. He slept in mornings and played music late into the night. His storeroom was generally empty.


Cricket knocked on Beetle's door and began his usual, "Hiya, Mister Beetle Sir, uh, I am a bit hungry and uh, I was wondering if you could spare a bite to eat man?"


Beetle replied with his usual. "Frogs and spiders, listen here you lazy leg scratcher I am not here to feed you, get out and get a job. Why don't you apply for a position down at the fishing hole. They feed the crickets real good. If you don't start storing food and I mean fast you are going to starve to death this winter."


"I have a plan for winter".


"Well, your plans better not include me. You'll get no help from me."


"Relax Mr. Beetle Sir. I not counting on you man."


Cricket managed to talk Beetle out of a worm eaten apple and a dab of dried peanut butter.


"Thank you mister Beetle Sir. I won't bother you again, man. You are so kind and generous. Thank you again, man."


One mid October day it was bitter cold, the wind blew hard out of the north, the sky was cloudy and the frost was on the ground. Cricket knocked on Beetles door. Beetle opened the door with a moldy cabbage in his hand.


"Don't say a word, I don't want to hear it! Take this, it is the last you'll get all winter! Do not come here again! Now go away."


"Thank you Mister Beetle sir! No, I won't bother you again man. Promise. You have been so kind and generous! Thank you again, man"


"GO AWAY!", Beetle slammed the door.


That afternoon it began to snow and Cricket held the biggest party of the year. Six legged freaks of all types showed up. Flies, gnats, and ants came in droves to feast on the ample supply of cabbage, predators arrived to feed on them! Others dropped in to watch the action and listen to the music.


Cricket was in great form. Playing loud and fast he attracted females from all over town. The females attracted all the males from miles around. It was a great time for everyone and went on into the early hours of morning.


Beetle didn't sleep. He got out of bed early and began to shovel the snow which had been blown against the door. He didn't feel well, somewhat fatigued, he thought maybe he was coming down with something, something no doubt brought 'round by Cricket and his disreputable friends. He watched wide eyed as Cricket came out of his door, sauntered across the walk and up the path to Beetles home. Beetle was, at first, quite amazed it wasn't even noon and here was Cricket awake and out of bed! As Cricket got closer and Beetle got a better look he realized Cricket had probably not been to bed at all.


"That explains a lot", muttered Beetle under his breath.


Cricket slowly made his way through the snow and up to Beetles door.


Cricket began his usual. "Hiya, Mister Beetle Sir, uh, I am a bit hungry and uh, I was wondering, man, if you could spare a bite…”


Beetle sputtered. He started to shout, but no words came out. He clutched his chest, his face turned red, then purple. Never in his life had the invertebrate been so angry. He gasped for breath and then fell over backward. Dead!


Cricket stepped over Beetle and moved in for the winter.

OWL

March 5, 2012

Entitlements

Awhile back I sat down to write a letter to my senator, Barbara Boxer. I found her official web site and began to fill out the provided form for sending her an email. I was quite surprised that one of the required fields on the form was the prefix to the name. Several choices were provide and you had to choose one of them in order to complete the process and send her the message. The offer was rather limited. Mr. Mrs. Miss and Miss. Since I never use such an indicator to proceed my name I was rather taken aback. It was not that I minded letting the senator know my gender. I just could not understand why such a policy was necessary. I wrote and asked her why, if I was a citizen of the United States of America residing in California, I should give this information just to make a comment to my elected representative in Washington. And why have to choose from such a short list of possible titles. Why can't I be identified as Sir, Lord, High Holy One or Master? It is interesting to note that you could use whatever you pleased as a suffix, I suppose Jr. and II are common. Then there is MA, pHd, BS, SoB and pDq.

Anyway before writing this blog I checked her web site, the policy has been changed. I applaud the senator for this change, but I am somewhat disappointed. I was going to ridicule the policy here.

OWL

Feb. 3 2012

Assumisms

The only thing you need to assume is the "position".

No, I don't want to fight about it. I want you to turn around and bend over so I can kick your ass.

I want you to have my children. Wait here I'll bring them in.

My imaginary friends all moved away and got good jobs. They work for congress.

Feminine hygiene products are for pussies.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a fishing boat? Chum.

What's the secret to keeping a penis hard all night long? Don't f**k with it!"

"How are you?" "Try me. Find out."

I was feeling down in the dumps and told my wife. She said "Well, don't beat yourself up." So I slapped her.

What do you call a guy with no arm or legs on a construction site? Phil.

We tried wife swapping once. Didn't work out though. Wasn't permanent.

Never send an idiot to do a moron's job.

I don't believe in wife beating, so I never got married.

OWL

Jan. 7, 2012