Saturday, March 31, 2007

Water Water Everywhere

Just about every day in this country groups of people get together to discuss water.
“Evian is crisp with an earthy finish.”
“I find Perier pretentious and over priced.”
“You simply must try the Santa Barbara ’87 tap. I have a few bottles I’ve been saving for a special occasion. Come on by we’ll crack one open.”

No. I mean water allocation. Who gets water, fish or farmers? Big cities or big business? I’m not talking about Joe farmer out is his field talking with the fisherman from next door. I mean biologists, botanist, foresters, civil engineers, politicians and the obligatory lawyers.

These are educated people, important people, leaders of science and industry, mayors, supervisors, congressmen and attorneys. Scholars with degrees in such fields as Natural Habitat Enhancement, Environmental Hydrodynamics, Advanced Urban Sprawl, and Spurious Hyperbolae. People who have taken classes in Fundamentals of Waste Water Recovery, Efficient Soil Manipulation and Rhetorical Rhetoric 101a. Authors of such erudite tomes as Global Warming and the Mating Cycle of the Desert Pup Fish, Canal Systems of Ancient Mesopotamia, and The Complete Guide to Political Posturing.

They get together in town councils, on county water boards, in State Department of Resources meetings and at senate sub-committee hearings to discuss how to divide up the limited supply of water. How much goes to grow the nations vital agricultural crops, what goes down stream to save threatened species of fish, how much can be siphoned off by the energy corporations and what will be left over to drink. There is never enough for every one.

Excuse me did I say discuss? Argue is nearer the mark. These meetings can get pretty nasty. The environmental lobby accuses the electrical companies of mass destruction of pristine wetlands. The farmers cry that the cities are deliberately sucking them dry. And everyone screams that the politicians are doing nothing. The politicians blame the lawyers.

If you’re at one of these meetings and someone offers you “the chair” get ready to duck.

At the end of the day they, hopefully, shake hands and politely thank one another for their attendance and cooperation. They all go home and retire to a private room. Then they each take two gallons of fresh, clean water, which has undergone an expense purification process and been delivered to their homes by an extensive system of dams, aqueducts, pipes, pumps and pluming, mix it with a small amount of urine and flush it down the toilet. Whoosh.

OWL

March 31, 2007

Thursday, March 29, 2007

The GateKeeper

My therapist, Black Eyed Susan, talks a lot about gatekeepers. The little voices in your head that try to control you and your emotions. Inside my head there a many little gatekeepers and one real big one. The one that controls the perpetually locked, chained and bolted massive iron gate across my mouth. He makes me think about everything I say and then usually doesn't let me say it. My wife might argue that, but it is true. All my life I have tended to be very careful about what I say and how I say it. It is very difficult for me to be spontaneous when talking. Even here and now when no one is listening I am hesitant to say what I feel. The watcher says a lot of different things to keep my mouth shut. That's stupid or wrong. You'll embarrass yourself if you say that. You can't let people know what you think or how you feel. They won't understand. No one is interested in that. Some times he has been right. I've said what I thought and it turned out to be way off base. Or no one cared, usually both. And he reminds me of that frequently. But more often he has been wrong. I didn't say the first thing that came to mind and it turned out later that I was right. Or that it would have been helpful. Or that I regretted not saying it.

One thing I found out late in life is that I could silence the watcher with a little bit of alcohol. A couple shots of Kentucky Bourbon and I could say what ever I wanted. It was fun. I could be funny. I knew that I was right. Everyone needed to hear what I had to say.

Now I am trying to shut the watcher up with out the alcohol. To have more confidence and say what I think.

My plan here is to write such boring drivel that no one will read it then I'll feel free to say what ever I feel like saying.

BONUS RANT: Why I don't use swear words. In the previous paragraph I used the expression "boring drivel". Even though I don't use cuss words in my everyday speech I had to toss out two synonyms for "feces" and think a while before I came up with the the word "drivel". The over use of expletives has severely reduced the once rich vocabulary in modern English speech. There are some speakers who use two nouns, two verbs, two adjectives, two adverbs and two interjections. Which wouldn't be so bad except they are all forms of the same two words.

OWL
March 29, 2007

Monday, March 26, 2007

I A.M.

8:15 am. I used to consider this the middle of the night. I stayed up late and slept late. Then suddenly about six months ago I woke up at 6:00 am one morning and jumped out of bed. Every since I've been getting up early. It's like one day some obscene hand reached down and reset my biological clock. Put it more in sinc with the sun. It's great getting up early and going to sleep at a decent hour but I do miss sleeping in on the weekend. I get more stuff done in the garden though. Last night we had fresh garden greens with dinner. This weekend I planted Cosmos, parsley, basil, lemon balm and Black Eyed Susans. I planted early because the weather has been so warm. The weather report says it might snow tomorrow. Figures. I'll just have to get out there and cover things up if it does. Or if things get killed by the frost I'll just plant again. Nothing lost, little learned.

Getting (it) up in the morning!

OWL

March 26, 2007

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Onan the Barbarian

I like to masturbate. It makes me feel like a teenager again. Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have sex with my wife (or her sister), but the occasional bit of selflove can be quite enjoyable. Does that make me a sinner? Am I going to burn in hell? I don't think so. The Bible is very clear on this. Onan had a brother who died so as was the custom of the day he married his brothers wife Tamar. She was a looker. But Onan felt that his seed should not be mixed with his brothers seed. I guess Onan wasn't from Arkansas. So he "Spilled it on the ground" and "The thing which he did displeased the LORD wherefore he he slew him." Genesis 38 9-10. Ouch! But what does it mean "he spilled it on the ground"? Well he could of jacked off. Or he could of pulled out early. Bush could learn from that. Or he could of just not done any thing until nature took over and he had a nocturnal emission (wet dream). The Bible doesn't specify, the important point is he didn't give it to his wife. Note the story is not about an unmarried boy or a widower. Now back then there was no such thing as social security. A woman's only retirement plan was to have children. (Men didn't retire, they worked until they died.) No this was Onan sin, he took an oath to protect and care for his wife and then he refused to do the one thing that would make her secure in her old age. Give her children. Also in those days a woman's social standing depended on the number of children, especially boys, she had. So for Onan to marry Tamar and then not to give her children was very cruel. No wonder God took offence.

But the God of the Hebrews was also a neat freak. Lots of the old testament concerns itself with cleanliness. Clean and unclean. There were lots of rules for isolating and purifying something that was defiled. Maybe that's where Onan went wrong, he didn't use a hanky.

Keep the Kleenex handy.

OWL
March 25, 2007

Thursday, March 22, 2007

To Tell the Trruth

The congress wants members of the administration to testify before committee. George W. Bush sez that's OK as long as the testimony is NOT under oath. When "W" and Dick Cheney testified before congress it was sans oath. I thought the idea of testifying was to tell the truth.

I'm learning to tell the truth. Part of my program of recovery. I am an alcoholic. So I am trying to grasp and develop a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty. So here I am getting used to the idea that I can let people see the real me. Stirring up the old bones and dusty knick-knacks on the bookshelf of my brain and baking them up as mental snacks for you gentle reader.

Today I return the SUV that was loaned to me while my Subaru was in the shop. I will be much more comfortable in my own vehicle. Much like sleeping in one's own bed, it just feels right.

May the rain that falls up on your shoulders water your dreams.
May the dog that pisses down your leg get dysentery in his master's house.

OWL
March 22, 2007

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Go Fourth

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. "

What is the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution of the United States Of America all about? Why did our founding fathers include this bit in the Bill of Rights? To protect innocent people from police intrusion? I don't think so. Innocent people have nothing to hide. And many innocent people would gladly invite the police in for a look around if it meant the cops would be able to go kick in the neighbors door. Especially in crime ridden, drug infested neighborhoods.

The Fourth Amendment is there to protect the guilty! To protect those who are guilty of evading unjust taxes. To protect those guilty of believing the government has no business interfering with the personal lives of the people.

To understand this we have to back up to the time of the American Revolution. The British crown considered the colonies to be wholly owned subsidies and a convenient source of income. They placed heavy taxes on the colonist, mostly in the form of tariffs. Now most people willingly pay their taxes because they understand the importance of doing so. (Roads, police protection etc.) Besides no one wants to go to jail for a few shekels. But when taxes get to be excessive many people try to avoid them. In the new world tax evasion and smuggling became quite common.

So common that in order to control the situation the King granted his governors the right of unlimited search and seizure. Kick the door in, take whatever you want, fill out the warrant later. After fighting a war to end such tyranny the founding fathers wanted to prevent its recurrence. Hence the Fourth Amendment.

But the Fourth has far reaching implications beyond the collection of taxes. It prevents undue government interference in our lives. Without the fourth amendment not only would there by a tax on baths, the eating of crackers in bed would be a crime. Ridiculous laws would be enforceable and congress would enact ridiculous laws.

OWL
March 17, 2007

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Time to change

DayLightSavingsTime

Microsoft doesn't support my operating system any more. So I got a patch off the net. Didn't work.

I hate when the time changes in the spring and we have to get up an hour earlier. Or at least I used to before I changed. (see SPRING Mar. 6 07). I will get more daylight in the evening to dally in the garden.

The administration's great idea to save energy. Change the clock. I'm impressed. Their usual technique is to redefine the words.

Save: verb, to waste, to throw away. "We are saving lives in Iraq".
Energy: noun, anything you have a limitless supply of, such as taxpayer money.
Serge: noun, an increase. The opposite of Escalation: noun, an increase.
Education: verb, to indoctrinate with a single idea. Sex "education" means abstinence only will be taught.
Patriotism: noun, a belief that your leaders know what is best for you and their methods and actions should not be questioned.
Constitution: noun, out dated document based on antiquated notions such as "freedom" and "democracy".
Intelligence: nonsense word used by children's authors and democrats.

"When I use a word", Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, "it means what I choose it to mean--neither more nor less." ALICE IN WONDERLAND, Lewis Carroll.

"When I make a word do a lot of work like that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it extra." ALICE IN WONDERLAND, Lewis Carroll.

So the reason for the largest deficit in history gets a little clearer. Federal Budget line item hidden on page 1257 among Whitehouse Office supplies:

Locution Recharacterization and Neologismfacation________ $1,257,324,123.07

We can't blame the "W". He doesn't know what it means either.

OWL
March 11, 2007

Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Elusive Butterfly

The clitoris.

Swollen. Anxious. Ready. At the center of womanhood it sets, begging to be touched. But at the very moment of ecstasy if shrinks and disappears. Like the female orgasm itself so close and then it fades away. Frustration. A perfect metaphor. For what I am not sure but there it is. We get so close to a goal, or think we do, and suddenly it is pulled away by fate. Or by fear. Fear of success, or of excess. Fear of being caught, of being found out. Or fear of getting caught up, of falling in love. Being venerable. Fear of getting trapped by our own emotional inadequacies.

We want it so bad we have to make it happen. We can't just let go, let it happen. And so we fail. Failure is brought about by fear of failing.

My writing is thus. I want so bad to make it right that I hold back. Parse very word. The flow doesn't. Less thinking more expressing.

OWL
March 10, 2007

Go Ask Alice

"Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things."

"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." -- Alice In Wonderland

Believing the impossible is easy. Just ask the "W". Abstinence only education works. We are winning the war in Iraq.

We fly to the moon and cure diseases because someone believed the impossible. Galileo believed the impossible and was arrested for it. But earth still goes around the sun. We know that because Galileo did something harder to do and more important.

He disbelieved that which was true. Something every one knew was true. Something the authorities had declared to be an absolute fact.

Try it sometime. Try to unbelieve the stuff we all know is true. Politicians are all cheats. Lawyers are all liars. The news is all bad. Open your eyes try to see the other side. I met an honest lawyer once, he was working at Burger King.

OWL
March 10, 2007

Friday, March 9, 2007

The Ten Commandments and Control


Should the Ten Commandments be posted in our courthouses and other public places?

Lets put aside for a moment the fact that only four of the commandments are embodied in the law. Lets ignore the complex legal issues involving the first amendment and look at the question of “WHY”. Why do people want the Ten Commandments posted on public property?

Our system of justice is based on the Ten Commandments and therefore the Ten Commandments should be posted in our courthouses and other public places. Eighty percent of Americans are Christians so majority rule gives them the right to have their beliefs considered in legal proceedings. The separation of church and state is a scam perpetrated by the courts. Religious freedom. Moral justice. They are the word of God. Every one must be familiar with them. They need to be a part of all our dealings with one another.

Good reasons? But before we go posting them on everybody’s property lets post them at home, and at church and at our place of business and every other spot we possibly can. When is the last time you walked in to someone’s house and saw the Ten Commandments posted? For me it was about two minutes ago. They’re on my refrigerator, under the bill of rights. My wife wears them on her wrist; they’re on her watchband. But I don’t see then in a lot of places. Not on people's lawns, not on t-shirts or bumper stickers. I haven’t even seen them in any of the churches I've been in, much less on a sign outside. Why is it that if it is so majorly important that this information be in front of the public that hardly anyone wants it on their property but they want it on ours. You have the right to put them up on your property so do it already. I know of no case in which the courts have ruled you can’t put them up on your front door. Put a Ten Commandments bumper sticker on your car. And one on your living room window. Wear them round your neck. Then people will know how you feel and that speak for yourself instead of trying to be the voice of John Q Public. And if all the people who think it is so important to have them on sign down at the court house square put just one commandment on their rear window then we will all read them all everyday and we won’t need to see them in the jury box.

Or maybe all this protesting and gripping is just natural human perversity. People only want to put up the Ten Commandments is places where they've been told they can’t and that is really the only reason they think this so important.

OWL
Mar. 7, 2007

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Marriage wows!

Mar. 8 2007

The family is the foundation of our society and marriage is the cornerstone. The sanctity of marriage must be preserved! There are many facets of marriage that make it vital to our way of life. Let's review.

Sex and Marriage:

Sex outside of matrimony, known as FORNICATION, is against the law. You can go to jail for premarital sex. Thus by outlawing same sex marriage you outlaw same sex sex. Oh wait. fornication is no longer a crime where I live, and in those states where it is a crime the law is rarely, if ever, enforced.

Adultery, a married person having sex with some one other than their spouse is an actionable offence. Well again not is this state. And again where it is illegle the law is not enforced.

Religion and Marriage:

Marriage is a covenant with God and the marriage ceremony must be performed by a member of the clergy. Except of course if it is performed by a ships captain. Or a legally appointed judge. Or a justice of the peace. Or nowadays it can be done by someone who has purchased a ministers licence from a mail order house for $20.

Children and Marriage:

When a man and woman are married any children born to the woman belong to the man. Period. He is responsible for their upbringing and education and they cannot be taken from him except in extreme cases of abuse. Ok, with paternity test weather or not a man is the father of a child can be determined. And the courts have seen fit to deny a father's right to raise or even see his children based on the flimsiest of pretext.

If a man is not married to a woman he is not responsible for her children. Let see that was before the age of "court ordered child support".

Time and Marriage:

Marriage is permanent. Till death do us part. In order to dissolve a marriage a couple must get an annulment from their church. Such drastic measures are only granted in extreme cases and for good reason, such as adultery. Or you can march down to the courthouse and get a quickie "no fault divorce". Get hitched in the morning, divorced at lunchtime, marry your true love in the afternoon and spend your honeymoon night in Vegas.

Property and Marriage:

Upon entering into holy wedlock any property owned by either party becomes joint property with its attendant rights and responsibilities. Unless you get the man or woman that you want to spend the rest of forever with to sign a "prenup". Then you get to keep your stuff.

In the rare case of divorce property is divided up evenly between to the two "life long partners". A good lawyer will get you a more even share. Unless the "filthy pig" conned you in to signing a "prenup".

Rights and Marriage:

Your spouse is conferred certain rights. Such as visitation while in the hospital, power of attorney when you are incapacitated, right to insurance benefits and inheritance. More and more society is recognizing the fact that these are your rights and that you should be able to assign them to whomever you see fit, within of course certain limits. As it should be.

So, lets preserve the "sanctity" of marriage. That's all that's left.

OWL

Spring

Mar. 6, 2007
7:48 am

Oh my, look at the time! All my life I have been an antimorning person. I hated mornings. Slept as late I could. Didn't get up till I absolutely had to. Then I'd rush around like mad trying get ready and show up late looking like I slept in my clothes. Because I had. Then about five months ago something strange happened. I woke up at 6am and jumped out of bed alert and ready to go. Now I am up at about 7 every day and rarely sleep in, even on weekends. Strange, very strange.

The sun is shining nicely here in the gold country. The foothills and kneehills of the Sierra Nevada mountains of central Kalifornya. Spring starts soon. Time to think garden. Time to get out the plant catalogs out order seed for this year. This year I plan to grow mainly things I can't find in the store. Giant Amaranth, purple and white carrots, exotic flowers etc. I grew way to much zucinni and to many cherry tomatoes last year. It feels like it is time to plant, the temp will be 70 today, but you never know about spring in the Sierra. Last year we had a storm in March that dropped a foot of snow.

Well time to wake wifey and make her breakfast.

OWL

Monday, March 5, 2007

Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and Chaos

2 Feb. 2007

My second post. I had a hard time getting back into this site. I wrote down the username and password and then couldn't find it 'cause I was looking under the wrong heading.

I've wanted to start this for a while. Reading SassyGirl finally prompted me to do it. If that sub can do it and find an outlet...

Problem with me is I never learned to type so it's hard to get my thoughts from my head through my fingers and into to whatever electronic media. Things have been rattling round inside my head for 50 years. It's getting messy in here. Writing the paper is not a suitable outlet. And my journal is private. So I blog. I need to remember that in the end this blog is for me. I need to say what I think. So if you are offended try something more to you liking. Dr. Seuss or Rush Limbaugh or "O".

OWL