Call me Ishmael

When I was younger I began to feel uneasy about seeing lions in cages being made to jump through hoops. Proud animals being humiliated, having whips cracked in their faces, in front of huge noisy crowds of human beings. Imagine Mufasa jumping through hoops. Darth Vader would not be pleased. Then marine animal parks became popular, my uneasiness turned to revulsion. Dolphins may well be the most intelligent beings on the planet. Here they are doing tricks, "Speak", "Fetch", "Rollover". "Goodboy, have a dead fish."

Animal rights activist began to protest the capture, captivity and treatment of marine mammals. I had to concur. Those who made their living training and exhibiting other species made two arguments. It allows us to study these important relatives of the human race. Maybe that would justify holding them indefinitely without formal charges. And "they enjoy doing tricks."

I had a friend, we'll call him DoorMatt. Everyone else did. Minor infractions resulted in a short term of incarceration for my young acquaintance. I saw him in the park one day with a few of his new found friends. Those who were well mannered and house broken had been brought out to do a little work on behalf of the public. Cutting the grass and raking up leaves, etc. DoorMatt was picking up trash and having a very good time of it. Odd, I had never before seen him bend at the waist to retrieve discarded waste paper. The other men exhibited an unusually keen interest in the tasks they were assigned. Unusual for guys whose normal attitude was, "@#$% the hedges, I'm watching the game. Get me another beer."

The higher primates when put into cages will take a sudden liking to simple and demeaning tasks if it allows them a break from the mind numbing monotony of cellular life. Most of the felons I know would drop the brooms and quickly pack their travel kits if the door were inadvertently left unsecured. Why should cetaceans be any different? Some dolphins if let into the wild will find their way back unaccompanied. So will some inmates, they have been "institutionalized". It's not pretty.

Go right ahead. Take my friend Flipper, put him in a tank, train him like a dog to do back flips for frozen mackerel in front of screaming crowds of humans, with their popcorn and cotton candy and hot dogs, at forty bucks a pop. But don't insult my intelligence, or his, by saying, "They enjoy doing tricks!"

OWL

August 20, 2007