It can't happen here

If a man wants to have sex with a woman he needs her "physical cooperation". He can get this in many different ways. He can seduce her so that she wants it as much as he does. He can offer her a reward such as cash payment, dinner and a movie, eternal gratitude or life long security with marriage and children. He can use coercion, the threat of violence or other harm, or blackmail a type of coercion. He can get her "cooperation" by physically restraining her, the traditional definition of rape. He might also get her to do it as a favor or reward for good behavior. Or he might try whining and begging and pleading until she just gives in, works for me. If she loves him she may be willing for that reason. In most of these instances sexual arousal on the part of the female is desirable but not required.

The situation is different when a woman is wanting to make love with a man. His physical cooperation is not enough. If he is not aroused a great many things may happen, but the ultimate act, coitus will not. Unless the man desires sex with her no offer of money, no promised treat, will allow him to rise to the occasion. My own experience is that threats of physical violence will not coax little Willy out of his hidey hole. Men prostituting themselves to women is unusual and females raping males is unheard of except in "statutory" cases which are now in the news regularly. How much of that is because of women's attitude toward sex and how is that attitude shaped by a man's inability to perform under pressure? Women avoid putting themselves into situations where the man might be unable to perform. They understandably find it degrading, even when it has nothing to do with them. Like when the man has had to much to drink. Is this why some women "hold out" until they know their man is desperate for sex?

This explains a lot about the difference in how men and women act, dress, live and think. Men spend a lot of time seeking, amassing and displaying POWER. Working out at the gym until their neck muscles bulge to the point they have to say "yo" because they can't nod their heads. Cat scratching and clawing their way to the top of the corporate dog pile, buying and selling major companies and small countries. Accumulating obscenely large piles of money and collecting politicians like so many trading cards. "Oh look, I got a senator!" Men's fashion is designed to convey power, the eye paint of Egyptian Pharaohs and the exquisite lace wore by Elizabethan noblemen were symbols of power. And big boy's toys are all about power. Power boats, jet skis and muscle cars with turbo-charged V-8 engines capable of going twice the legal speed limit. Harley-Davidson motorcycles whose deep rumbling vibrations can induce female orgasm at fifty paces. Four wheel drive trucks with over sized bumpers, mud flaps and the must have wench on the front. Motorcycles have the wench on the back. Eighteen wheelers, Caterpillar tractors, semi-automatic assault rifles, F-15 fighter jets, five thousand watt mega-amplifiers, IEDs and Sherman tanks. It's all about the power, grasshopper.

Women are different. From before puberty until well after their child baring years women spend a lot time and money trying to look attractive and desirable. They fix their hair, powder their faces and squeeze themselves into little black dresses. They get dye jobs, nose jobs, boob jobs and face lifts. They walk on high heel shoes and paint their fingernails. They wear fishnet stockings, fake eyelashes and cheap perfume. They get themselves injected with botulism toxin to eliminate wrinkles, pluck their eyebrows and shave their legs. In societies or social circles where powerful woman are considered sexy business suits and breast plates are the height of feminine fashion. Women use creams and lotions and starve themselves on fad diets all in an effort to make sure that when they find Mr. I Think He Might Be the One he'll find her desirable enough to put it through the uprights.

I've seen lots of studies and surveys about the psychological differences between men and woman. Men are more visual and look at porn. Women are drawn toward good providers and have a nesting instinct. I don't remember anyone discussing how this basic physiological difference shapes our social interactions. I'd like to hear other opinions about this.

The introduction of Viagra and other erectile dysfunction treatments may change the dynamics of male/female relations but they won't change our attitudes anytime soon. A million years of evolutionary selection and thousands of years of social conditioning won't be quickly over written by a little blue pill.

OWL

May 10, 2007