Where did I put that?

Way back some time during the last century scientist all over world started making dire predictions of global warming. "Green house gases will build up in the atmosphere trapping heat from the sun and causing the average annual temperature around the globe to climb to record levels. The polar ice caps will melt, sea levels will rise and weather patterns will go haywire. There will be more floods, droughts, hurricanes, twisters and bad hair days." Thus runs a typical quote from a scientific journal of the 1980's, it was in the paper yesterday. The main culprit in this scenario of meteorological horror, carbon dioxide.

Atmosheric scientist estimate that mankind releases some 8 billion tons of carbon dioxide a year, 3 billion tons remain in the atmosphere, 2 billion tons are absorbed by the ocean and the other 3 billion tons are presently unaccounted for. Of course plants suck up huge amounts of carbon dioxide and convert it to oxygen and sugar in the process of photosynthesis. It is assumed though that plants basically use the same amount of carbon dioxide that is released when those plants decay, burn or are metabolised by animals.

So the brilliant scientist in their smart white coats with their incredibly complex computer models of the earth's atmosphere have a problem. Three billion tons of greenhouse gas per year that they cannot account for. That's six trillion pounds! At approximately 1.1 gram per cubic meter that would be 72,090,000,000,000,000,000 cubic feet of the stuff that they claim is going to bring about the end of the world and turn you and me into shoe polish for the next species that takes over the planet. And these guys still have jobs? I don't know about you but I get called to account when there are a couple reams of copy paper and a can of Decaf French Roast missing from the supply room.

Butt weight! (Stoopid spell checker.) News flash. Now they are telling us they found the missing carbon dioxide sequestered in the forest of the northern hemisphere. I guess they noticed that green stuff covering the better part of three continents and decided to actually check their assumptions. Fancy that. Studies have show that evergreen forest suck up about 40 grams of carbon per square meter per year. Just enough to just balance the account. How very convenient. I wouldn't trust these guys with my 401k. I must remind you that these numbers are "estimates". They're guessing.

All this doesn't mean that I don't believe in global warming. I just wonder if it is due to a change in the formula for "air" or if it is because every one of the 23 million Mal-Marts world wide are surrounded by 117 acres of asphalt. I also want to know how it is that these scientist can get up at a news conference and say "Oh, by the way we're missing 6,000,000,000,000 pounds potentially deadly carbon dioxide" and rest of the world still takes them seriously. I'm in the wrong line of work.

I guess if your main product is hot air no one counts the zeros.

OWL

May 14, 2007

PS To put this into perspective for those of you who are not adept at mathematics and hence are not used to dealing with numbers larger than seven. 72,090,000,000,000,000,000 is 72 quintillion. The Rubik's cube now gathering dust in your junk drawer only has 19 quintillion possibilities. That should help you visualize it a little better. Your welcome.

OWL